Choice. In this one innocent little word, there’s an inference of both a sense of self-agency and options. So much of life involves decisions, small and big, that propel us in one direction or another. Start/stop, yes/no, left/right. And it’s crazy how one decision can end up having a pretty big impact in how things unfold. Or the next decisions that come along. The openness of ways to navigate circumstances can be empowering and make me feel small at the same time! Options can be exhausting. Or stimulating. It really just depends on the moment. And it’s never random. History, principles, and the people and information we surround ourselves with all contribute to the options we see and the paths we end up taking… no man is an island. I don’t know, it’s just interesting I guess.
Sometimes I feel like multiple choice would be simpler. Fill in the circle for A, B, C, or D. Reduced options, one clear answer. But mostly that’s not real life. So it’s like… you just have to make a call sometimes. And trust yourself. Then walk it out. Yea, a lot of decisions deserve to be honored with your mind-time, seeking advice from people you trust, calculating pros and cons. But there are some you just really might as well make on a whim and not look back. I get that urge sometimes. Life’s too short to be overly planned & strategized with no room for spontaneity. And risk. And we can find a little solace in knowing that truly most things aren’t as hugely permanent or irreversible as we think. We evolve, life situations change. To the point where you can stare the same decision in the face 3 months later and be like well obviously A, when before it was obviously B.
And sometimes you have to not make choices and just chill. And just like be. And maybe nap. For sure nap. Turn on the Masters and let the adorable golf announcers lull you to the perfect little Sunday couch rest.
Annnd sometimes choices are little until they’re big. And while they’re little you give them matching weight and mind-time and as they grow they get more deference, investment, and commitment.
Wow, thoughts! Not really sure how that all came out. Since I started this post thinking I was going to talk about how so much of life is making choices you know are good for you. And how sometimes that’s getting yourself in your cute new leggings and hitting Summit Avenue for a run even when part of you is like orrrrr…. I could not. And how sometimes it’s nice to have an Ellie subscription box come in the mail that makes all the outfit decisions for you because it’s your entire workout outfit including a water bottle and maybe a jumprope or mini foam-roller in a box. All still true.
photos by isabel kruse